Jul 19 2018
The golden rule of every relationship is that the 'past is past'. But, are we really keeping side our past and moving on? Not really. We give ourselves and others, 'n' number of reasons to still be friends with our ex. This may give an emotional security for the time being, but in the long run, you may feel guilty about your decision. But, there are sometimes when you cannot keep distance from your ex, even if you wanted to. Here are some situations which you tell yourself that you being in touch with your ex is justified to an extent.
You must have met your ex through your best friend and you both may share common friends. It becomes difficult to avoid all social gatherings and parties. You cannot ditch all your friends due to your break up. This will create room for awkwardness for which you still remain friends. A formality can be expected to be maintained by both of you, by your friend's group.
You must have given back those greeting cards and love letters, but definitely not the iPhone he gifted for your birthday. There is no point in returning that diamond watch that she gifted you on proposal day. These things or other monetary benefits will tie you with your ex and make you keep in touch. If not interested, return them with thanks. If you are keeping them, you will be forced to attend those calls and messages.
You or your partner may be an emotional person and this will make you both stay as friends. You will not hurt his/her feelings or may regret hurting too much. Most of the times, being with each other becomes a habit and you will not be able to outgrow it. You may feel that it's your responsibility to be with them, at least till they get through the heartbreak.
You cannot lie that you are still friends in social media profiles and never stalk your ex. You need to know who he/she is currently dating or what is happening in his/her life. You want to make sure that he/she is in pain and still not out of you. This guilty pleasure can be attained through staying in contact and acting as if nothing matters.
You are Lonely
The worst reason to be with your ex is that you are lonely. You must have invested all your time and energy in your relationship and you cannot find an alternative in a day. You may need a friend to take you through the bad times and you find the same in your ex. The roller coaster ride of relationship may make you feel that it is the end of the world and the only person who can motivate you, maybe your ex.
If you are constantly giving yourself the above excuses, it is time that you move on and start afresh. You always can find the ray of hope at the end of darkest tunnels.