Feb 28 2018
Mothers-in-law are considered as monsters by almost every daughter in law. All thanks to daily soaps and Indian cinema. When a girl child is born, she is trained from her early stages to hate her mother-in-law. Anything you do which is wrong for the society, you will be warned that you cannot do it at your Sasural (husband's home). Be it waking up late or not washing dishes, you will be constantly reminded that you cannot have this freedom of choice. This makes us hate that person even before knowing her. What if she can be your mother? What if she can love you instead of shouting at you? Looks Impossible? We discuss a lot about how a girl moves in with her in-laws and adjusts with the whole family, one fine day. But, do we realise that there is another side to this coin? A family is including a new person into theirs, who may be entirely different from them. This can create a panic situation.
Try these simple and useful strategies to make her your best friend.
Take it Slowly
As much as a daughter-in-law in worried about her in-laws, mother-in-law is also tensed about the woman in her son's life. There will be a lot of changes which she has to accept. His son must have been asking about fashion tips to mom till date and suddenly everything changed. She becomes the second priority in her son's life. Let her take her own time to adjust to these quick changes and everything else will fall into place.
Know the core reasons
Understanding the reasons is not a rocket science when it comes to a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship. But, you may not be able to see the real mother-in-law, if you are in the mode of judgment. It is not necessary that if your sister's mother-in-law is very demanding that yours too need to be one. You are not there to judge her or make her conduct certificate. Know her well before you make some judgments about her character. She may be different from your mom. But, you and your partner are also different in nature. Never compare your mom and mother-in-law because no two persons are same.
Accept her as Mom
If you cannot accept her as your mom, how can she love you as her daughter? Make sure that you are taking sufficient initiatives to understand her better. If you are getting hurt for any silly comments or corrections from her, assume whether you will be having the same notion if she is your own mother. If not, you are on the wrong track. Love can make everything better. Once she gets the love of a daughter, you can wait for the day she has tears of joy in her eyes. Understand that everyone needs to be loved and she is no different. If you are possessive about the man you are with for past 3 years, she is with him for past 30 years. Simple Logic!
Ignore Irrelevant Things
If your mother-in-law has a bad opinion about your cooking skills, change it through your talent. Do not try to cry over it and make it a big issue. Trivial issues can be handled by ignoring them. If you love to sleep till 9 and she wants you to wake up at 6, do that for a few months and win her heart. Convince her that you love sleeping a little more without disobeying. Do not take things to heart unnecessarily. Try not to involve your husband in such matters and put him in trouble by asking to take any side. This will not only make things worse but damages relationships.
Be Polite and Understanding
It does not take much effort to be an empathetic daughter-in-law. But, it can change the world for you. If you disagree, be calm and polite in your words and actions. You can use your managerial skills to handle the situation. Never raise your voice or lose temper. This will make you say or do things which you never even meant. Respecting elders will not do any harm. In the end, remember that she is the woman who gave birth to the love of your life. Everything she does will have a reason behind that she loves her son enormously.